Wednesday, November 01, 2006
strange days in fucking deed...
spent the past week coming to terms with the wreakage of my past and the supposed rebuild of my future. pretty much lost it all- the five year perfect boyfriend whom i bit in a blackout- my brooklyn styly apartment of which i got kicked out of- a years worth of art work shredded to bits or held hostage by the ex and a lost cell phone full of contacts, gone along with my dignity after being mugged and thrown head first into the hudson river where i almost ended up fish food. 7 days in a psyche/detox where i was kept captive in a haldol daze, then 21 days lost in a state run rehab where i was the only out faggot admidst a sea of crack whores and spanish speaking crazies. now i'm in fla. dealing with my dying from hep c brother, nutjob invalid mother who still talks to my dead fathers ashes and an unhealthy lust for prescribed marinol which the doctors give me for my hiv to keep me stoned and hungry legally. what a great country and what a wierd place i've found myself in. single at 40 with a 17 year old disposition yet a lifetime of experience that really hasn't gotten me anywhere but more lost than i was to begin with. and how was YOUR day?
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